Protected: M.E.R.R.Y. C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S.!

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Today, We Celebrate….

Today, we celebrate my little girl’s 7th birthday. I’m reposting this poem I wrote for her, last year. Most if still rings true except for the age reference. ~ Happy Birthday Ellie! Dad and Mom feel no greater privilege than the gift of stewardship that parenting brings to us, by God’s grace, each and every day.

My little girl is growing fast,

I wonder who she’ll be,

She’s quite unique and very strong,

Remarkably smarter than me.

I truly ache, sometimes, I do,

The wounds that time inflicts,

And turns its laughing hourglass,

Its sifting sand so quick.

Remembering in years gone by,

How frail–she’d have to cling,

And now she’s only nearing six,

Already off and running…

Away from me and on her own,

She loves to be with friends.

Her choicest play and time away,

With others she’d rather spend.

It only serves to jog my mind

I like to hit recall,

And think of nightly, quiet times

Just she and I, were all.

So late at night or early morn’,

So quiet, peaceful, still,

Gently resting, snug and tight

Or testing lungs with shrill.

Still, does not matter to my heart,

My memory fades and clears,

And only holds reflections of,

The sweetest times so dear.

My little girl is growing up,

And now she’s strong in tongue.

She’ll weave a whopper story, tall,

And sing with might and lung.

She loves to read and write and teach,

Her wit meets every turn.

Each morning, she enjoys her school,

Her passion is to learn.

If I could teach her more than school,

Ignore the subjects taught,

Please listen closely, dear daughter,

Please listen to this thought:

“Little girl, my dear sweet child,

If just one chance impressed,

Please take these gifts and even now,

With righteousness, please dress.

If it were left to me, somehow,

A prideful, sinful thought,

I’d dress you with my parenting,

My heart, such sin, does wrought.

But not with impotence and source,

Will dress you with such grace,

Only by His pre-formed love,

Will you ever see His face.

So dear sweet girl, my only one,

Please, never in your life,

Look for any other grace –

Than grace from Jesus Christ.”

I know for years, I’ll often ask

Wondering who she’ll be alike,

My surpassing desire is she becomes,

A beloved Sister-in-Christ.

~Kim Noble

Dedicated to my daughter, August, 2010.

Why We Love The Church: In Praise of Institutes and Organized Religion by Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck

Truly, an unpopular title for this day and age and I’m not talking among “them” out there.  I’m talking about my own social and cultural stratosphere… the evangelical world.  The church world is full of perceived church leaders and laymen and women who find every reason to criticize, blast and all out accuse the church and all her failures–and why not take a bunch of church leaders down with them?  The good ones rail against their local church, but are careful to not step on the toes of the universal Church.  I mean… that would be blasphemy–right?  But what Kevin and Ted do, with strong arguments from Scripture and church history, is successfully, IMO, defend against such thinking, and make a reasonable (and accurate) case that if you’re attacking the local church; you’re in its very essence, assaulting Christ’s universal Church… the Bride of Christ.

For those who do not desire to follow all of the commands in Scriptures (not just the ones we agree with), you will most likely find this book borderline boring and relentlessly narrow-minded.  For the rest of us who sincerely desire to worship Christ through ministering in our local churches, you will no doubt find this book convicting, encouraging, and incredibly useful as a practical foundation for building a meaningful and authentic church life.  Two important things, I believe, people must know about the book before reading: 1) writing style and 2) perspective.

The first is writing style.  Like their previously successful publication, Why We’re Not Emergent by Two Guys Who Should Be (a really great read, too), they each take a chapter and write from their agenda.  The result is two very different writing styles.  DeYoung writes from an academic, pastoral slant while Kluck writes from an easy-going, conversational style.  Both are intelligent and prolific, but if you have a hard time switching back and forth (which I do) then you might find the style a bit distracting.  I want you to know going into it, so you can prepare and hopefully it can cut down on the diversions and help you focus.  It’s like getting two books in one.

The second is perspective.  You might think they are sitting down with Scripture and going verse by verse, challenging us from the many passages that hail the Church.  They actually start from a cultural point of view, using what’s out there now in the so-called evangelical kingdom (i.e. Barna, McLaren, Viola, etc.) and using Scripture and church history to successfully defend against such “revolutionary” thinking.  If this type of contending isn’t apropos for this day and age, then I don’t know what is.

What I thoroughly enjoyed and was pleasantly surprised to read is they don’t deny or bury their heads in the sand about the problems in church life.  They don’t leave us feeling, at best, immature and, at worst, unregenerate, because our lives can be littered with a sinful experience, both from within our own hearts and from outside circumstances against us.  The church is made up of people and people sin (gasp!).  What they do well is flesh out the many failings of the church without throwing the “baby”–”bathwater” and all.

The bible is clear; those who are true disciples, love the church even with its many blemishes and weak systems.  DeYoung and Kluck dive into the unpopular task of guarding against misguided and/or even heretical thinking by taking popular, evangelical spins and turning them on their apostasy heads.

In the end, I walked away from the book acknowledging my sinful part in the flaws of the church; being convicted of the subtle ways I often undermine church life; and feeling completely refreshed that my general love, not just for the universal Bride, but my beloved and cherished local church, wasn’t a symptom of head burying; but a marker of true discipleship.  I hope it does the same for you, as well.

Below are some excerpts from the book to hopefully whet your appetite for it.  Here is the Amazon.com link if you want to buy it.  I hope you will.

What the jacket says:

Why We Love the Church presents the case for loving the local church.  It paints a picture of the local church in all its biblical and real life guts, gaffes, and glory in an effort to edify local congregations and entice the disaffected back to the fold.  It also provides a solid biblical mandate to love and be part of the body of Christ and counteract the “leave church” books that trumpet rebellion and individual felt needs.

Why We Love the Church is written for four kinds of people – the Committed, the Disgruntled, the Waffling & the Disconnected.

What the guts say:

What makes the church unique is its commitment, above all else, to knowing and making known Christ and Him crucified.  True, biblical story line is creation, fall, redemption, and re-creation.  But the overwhelming majority of Scripture is about our redemption, how God saves lawbreakers, how sin can be atoned for, how rebels can be made right with God. ~ DeYoung

It seems to be me that proclaiming this message of redemption is the main mission of the church, even more than partnering with God to change the world through humanitarian and global activism. ~ DeYoung

No matter what the trendmeisters recommend, it is absolutely biblically and eternally necessary that we verbally tell people the gospel and call people to faith and repentance in Jesus Christ. ~ DeYoung

We need to be careful about our language.  I think I know what people mean when they talk about redeeming the culture or partnering with God in His redemption of the world, but we should really pick another word.  Redemption has already been accomplished on the cross.  We are not co-redeemers of anything.  We are called to serve, bear witness, proclaim, love, do good to everyone, and adorn the gospel with good deeds, but we are not partners in God’s work of redemption. ~DeYoung

Jesus’ initial description of the church focused not on changing the world but on the hope of eternal life. ~DeYoung

If we’re all revolutionaries, are any of us an actual revolutionary?  Being a revolutionary used to mean that you overthrew a government; now it means that you’re a courageous enough visionary to have church on a golf course or in someone’s living room. ~ Kluck

What [Dan] Merchant fails to realize is that the gospel is, by nature, offensive.  It suggests that we are in fact sinners in need of salvation.  Jesus tells His disciples that they will leave behind friends, careers, and even family members for the sake of the cross.  He is, essentially, suggesting that if the gospel isn’t divisive in some way it’s probably no gospel at all. ~ Kluck

As a people, we’ve carried too much swagger and shown too little brokenhearted humility. ~ DeYoung

But the church failure is not the whole story.  Outsider perceptions are not always accurate, and insider angst is not always fair.  Before we write off the church because young nonChristians hate her and thirtysomething church dropouts think she’s lame, we need to think more carefully about the critiques. ~ DeYoung

In all honesty I can say that in the times I’ve been hurt by church people or been disheartened, the biggest problems, in the end proved to be those that came from my own heart.  This is not to discount external pressures or difficult situations or the way sin which Christians can hurt each other.  Yet even with all of these outside factors, my main issue has been Kevin.  I respond in sinful ways.  I feel sorry for myself.  I lose faith.  I doubt the Word of God.  I don’t want to forgive.  I stop hoping.  I get embittered.  I grow lazy.  I don’t stay in step with the Spirit.  these are my sins from my heart.  Others can make life difficult for me.  I can make it unbearable. ~ DeYoung

The bible is all for honesty, truth, and sincerity, but authenticity is something a little different.  If authentic is simply the opposite of fake, contrived, and hypocritical, then I’m all for it.  I like people who are honest with their feelings and open about their struggles.  But godliness demands a lot more than just being real.  In fact, godliness demands that we stop acting like we want to and start acting like Christ.  I sometimes find, especially among my peers, that authenticity is not a self-abasing means of growing in holiness, but a convenient cover for endless introspection, doubt, uncertainty, anger, and worldliness.  So that if other Christians seem pure, assured, and happy, we despise them for being inauthentic. ~ DeYoung

Granted, the church shouldn’t be a happy-clave naive about life’s struggles.  Plenty of psalms show us godly ways to be real with our negative emotions.  But the church should not apologize for preaching a confident Christ and exhorting us to trust Him in all things.  Church is not meant to foster an existential crisis of faith every week, nor are we justified in leaving church because there seem to be too many answers offered to our questions.  Belief is not the enemy of authenticity. ~ DeYoung

At the end of my life, I want my friends and family to remember me as someone who battled for the gospel, who tried to mortify sin in my life, who fought hard for life, and who contended earnestly for the faith.  Not just a nice guy who occasionally noticed the splendor of the mountains God created, while otherwise just trying to enjoy myself, manage my schedule, and work on my short game. ~ Kluck

While God only knows the heart, I fail to see signs of reluctance from those who write about all the ways the church “sucks.”  I don’t sense that their critiques come from a broken heart, much like conservatives can “confess” the sins of America with a self-righteous swagger.  I see little evidence in today’s church critics of spiritual zeal rising about strong natural affection.

To the contrary, I see the church derided with mockery and scorn.  I see critics exaggerating her weaknesses and incapable of affirming any of her strengths.  I see many leaving the church instead of loving her for better or for worse.  I see lots of peers who have 20/20 vision for the church’s failings, but are nearsighted to their pride, self-importance, and mutual self-congratulation.  I see a willful ignorance to the church’s history, a simplistic understanding of its past errors, and a childish impatience for her current struggles.

To be sure, let us lament with broken hearts the impurities yet to be washed clean in Christ’s bride.  But let us never forget that the first errors to confess are not those sings belonging to our grandparents or the crusaders, but our own. ~ DeYoung

“Church isn’t something to be endured, it’s something to be entered into joyfully.  Maybe you don’t like the sermons, or maybe the music bothered you one Sunday, but those things are trivial compared to the very act of committing yourself to being part of the body of Christ, and participating fully.” ~ Chuck Colson (Ted Kluck’s interview with Colson)

“We live in a therapeutic age where everything is measured by how much I get out if it,” he continues.  ”The church ought to be measured by what we put into it for God and others.  And we live in an era of rampant individualism.  So in a very individualistic culture, the whole idea of being a part of a community is countercultural.  And it fits perfectly in the what’s-in-it-for-me, narcissistic attitudes prevalent in American culture.” ~ Chuck Colson

No less pragmatic is the “revolutionary” leave-your-church-and-find-God movement, which in effect says, “If people in your life don’t like the church, fine; just distance yourself from the church and do our own spirituality.”  The problem with this is it is entirely self-sufficient.  There’s no risk-taking on behalf of the gospel.  It allows us [...] to take with us our staff, bread, bag, extra tunic, and reputation. [based from Luke 9] ~ Kluck

Churchless Christianity makes about as much sense as a Christless church, and has just as much biblical warrant. ~ DeYoung

“To say that Christ has founded a church without any organization, government, or power is a statement that arises from principles characteristic of philosophical mysticism but takes no account of the teaching of Scripture, nor the realities of life.” DeYoung quoting Professor Herman Banvick

As evangelicals we’ve become addicted to “happy ending” stories where we go through “x” (hard thing) and then start praying and then–Shazam!–God makes everything better and we have a nice, utopian story to tell where we are the hero who ends up with a great job, the great family, the time off, the free plane ticket, the lost purse, or the great healthy kids.  The fact of the matter is, sometimes (often) the happy ending is heaven, and the getting there is a really difficult but formative part of our sanctification.  And sometimes what God wants in the interim is for us to find our happiness, holiness and identity in Him, rather than our perfect jobs, perfect 2.5 kids (or 6.5 kids in the case of our church), and perfect testimonies. ~ Kluck

I can’t read Paul’s letters to Timothy and Titus without thinking that preaching is really important.  Preaching is more than a conversation, or a collection of inspirational thoughts to ponder.  It’s a passionate, desperate plea for life through the gospel, as Paul declared to Timothy: “In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke, and encourage–with great patience and careful instruction.” (2 Timothy 4:1-2 NIV). ~ Kluck

The nice thing about the doctrine of original sin is that it focuses our attention on issues that are a little more timeless.  People will always be sinners.  So our main problem is not lack of integration or balance, or lack of success or education, or even poverty and injustice, as serious as these problems can be.  Our main problem will always be sin.  And, hence, we are always in need of a Savior.  This doesn’t mean we can be blissfully ignorant of the world around us, but it means our focus will be squarely on the gospel.  We can forget about being the church of what’s happening now, and relearn to be the church of Christ, and Him crucified. ~ DeYoung

A Promise Kept by Robert McQuilken

One of the most wonderful things about being sick is I get to read.  For some reason, it’s really the only thing I desire to do when I’m sick and as long as I can stay awake, I enjoy it.  There’s something about reading literature, specifically in the area of biblical principles and applications, which I find quite soothing.  I don’t enjoy novels or fiction much anymore.  They used to be my staple, but now I really enjoy reading biographies, autobiographies and stories about real people who have persevered through this life portraying a God-glorifying testimony of the gospel.

This book is one of them.  I stumbled across it just before I became sick.  The book:  A Promise Kept: The Story of an Unforgettable Love.  In my busyness, I had not taken the time to sit down to read it even though it is a small book of only about 90 pages.  And many of the pages contain art which decreases the word count considerably.  Still, I was in this reverse thought process that because it was so small, I’d get to it later.  Thankfully, by God’s wonderful sovereign plan, I did get to it “later” when I became sick for about a week.  Once I picked it up, I couldn’t put it down.

For many of you who may not know who Robert McQuilken is, he was president of Columbia Bible College and Seminar (now a university) from 1960 to 1990.  He taught ethics and hermeneutics and prior to his duties at Columbia, he and his wife, Muriel, served as missionaries to Japan for twelve years (1956-1968).  Dr. McQuilken stepped down from his position at the college when his wife became too sick with Alzheimers and needed full-time care.  His stirring resignation speech is here.

Getting back to the book, I’d like to take some quotes and post them here.  I think it will give you the best look into why this book is so charming.

“We chose to accept the verdict and not chase around the country after every new miracle treatment we might hear about.  Go standard.  We would trust the Lord to work a miracle in Muriel if he so desired or work a miracle in me if he didn’t.”

“People who do not know me well have said, ‘Well, you always said, ‘God first, family second, ministry third.’  But I never said that.  To put God first means that all the responsibilities he gives are first too.  Yet sorting out responsibilities that seem to conflict is tricky business.”

“A letter to a national columnist read, ‘I ended the relationship because it wasn’t meeting my needs.’  The counselor’s response was predictable:  ’What were your needs that didn’t get met by her in the relationship?  Do you still have those same needs?  What would she have to do to fill these needs?  Could she do it?’  Needs for communication, understanding, affirmation, common interests, sexual fulfillment–the list goes on.  If the needs are not met, split.  He offered no alternatives.  There is an eerie irrelevance to every one of those criteria for me.”

“My imprisonment turned out to be a delightful liberation to love more fully than I had ever known.  We found the chains of confining circumstances to be, no instruments of torture, but bonds to hold us closer.  But there was even greater liberation.  It has to do with God’s love.  No one ever needed me like Muriel, and no one ever responded to my efforts to totally as she.  It’s the nearest thing I’ve experienced on a human plane to what my relationship with God was designed to be:  God’s unfailing love poured out in constant care of helpless me.”

“A friend wrote, ‘Muriel doesn’t know you anymore, doesn’t know anything, really, it’s time to put her into a nursing home and get on with life.’  The day may come when, because of a change in my health or hers, she could be better cared for by others.  But for now, she needs me and I need her.  I responded, ‘Do you realize how lonely I would be without her?’”

After Muriel had passed away:

“Grief.  For fifty-five years she was flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone.  So it’s like a ripping out of my flesh and –deeper–my very bones.  Some think I must feel relief from the burden.  After all, it was ten years of total caregiving.  But it doesn’t work that way.  One woman I don’t know wrote to comfort me from her own experience of caregiving and reported the same response I had, a response that she said surprised her: ‘There is a bonding, ‘ she said, ‘with the one who is totally dependent on you.  It takes love to a deeper level.  The pain is greater, not less.’  And so it is.  But there is also profound gratitude.”

“For ten years I’ve delighted in recalling happy memories.  I still do. No regrets. Gratitude.”

“Now she has emerged from her long dark tunnel into the light of her Savior’s dear presence.  Home at last.  As son Kent said, ‘Not restored; better than ever!’  So grateful.

In a letter to family and friends:

“Thus I wrote family and friends.  Not really the closing chapter of Muriel’s life, but for her the beginning of real life.  That we celebrate!

To say the least, I felt great emotion reading this book.  In part, my guilt and conviction for some of the thoughts and attitudes regarding my own (very short) illness.  Other times, it was because I resonated so very deeply with the abundant, all-sufficient grace and mercy that God showers on His children through both prosperous and lean times.  And still other emotions surfaced because of the great promised hope of seeing, not just Muriel in heaven, but her and my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Any book that points to Jesus Christ as the greatest prize of eternal hope is surely a book worth reading, in sickness and in health.

Friday Morning Humor

Who doesn’t need a little fun and humor after my depressing post on depression.  :)  (P.S. I am healing quite nicely.  See below post if you don’t know what I’m talking about.)

Enjoy!

 

Don’t Waste Your Depression

Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, The God who is our salvation. Psalm 68:19

I’m depressed. (*add Eeyore-sized sigh for emphasis*)  No, not clinically diagnosed, or even chronically depressed the way you might see an actor on a Paxil commercial.  I’m not volatile the way Faye Dunaway was in the movie, ”Mommie Dearest,” with her wide, psychotic eyes and overly smeared, bright red lipstick.

Maybe a better word is “down.”  But it’s more than that.  I’m not just feeling blue… I’m feeling down right emotional–overwhelmed–grieved.

I feel like my emotions are considerably raw and the mere fact that my husband was off to work today (like.every.other.day.) left me feeling abandoned and alone.  Or the everyday, ordinary household routine of dirty dishes has me feeling like a complete failure every time I look at them.  For those who know me, dirty dishes rarely have that effect on me.  If nothing else, it gives me the sense of a full life and good pleasure eating knowing I’ve fed my family or had a house full of guests… or both.  The fact that dirty dishes are now my arch rival is a good indicator that I’m really down-in-the-dumps down, for me anyway.

I no longer have any desire to be hospitable or have anyone over.  There’s no longing for the laughter of girlfriend fellowship that I treasure so dearly, or the musical jangling of coffee cups and tinkering sounds of forks hitting saucers filled with goodies.  There is no desire to be sociable.  This listless, yet overly emotional feeling, is another similar season for me–more on that later.

Let me take you back two weeks to the beginning of September.  Two dreaded words: poison ivy.

Yes.  There’s quite a bit in our yard.  I was out with the family cleaning up when I decided, for whatever prideful reason, that I would try to get some of the poison ivy cut down.  Hindsight being what it is, you can imagine a huge, Italy-sized, swift kick boot to my backside, today, but going forward on that day, I thought I was being gallant.  My husband and oldest son are highly allergic to the cursed weed and I’ve only had a small poison ivy reaction one other time in my life.  I thought I was the best person to deal with it.  I still might be relative to my family’s needs, but that will have to be determined later.

Fast forward one week, and I started getting little outbreaks here and there.  Not really thinking much of it, I just put some poison ivy cream on the outbreaks and went about my day.  Last Monday morning (one week ago from today) I woke up with my arms and legs looking like a heavy smokers’ convention had passed through my bedroom at night and put out their cigarettes on my appendages.  It was not pretty–not to mention the itching–*the itching*.  Anyone who has had even a touch of poison ivy knows about the itching.

I started topical ointments and used some that worked well, but more outbreaks, worse outbreaks, were coming each morning and less and less was clearing at night.  (Have I mentioned the itching?)  By Wednesday, my (very wise) husband suggested (read: commanded) I go to a walk-in clinic.  I did.

The end of one trial and the beginning of another:

The kindly, likeable doctor took one look at me and said in his gentle voice, “You are past the topical stage; you need something internal.  I’d like to give you prednisone… and an antibiotic.  You also have infections on your arms.”  Honestly, at this point, he could have said, “ I’d like to stand you on your head in a boiling cauldron of hot oil.” and I would have taken it.  As long as it helped with the burning/itching sensation, I was game.

He went over how prednisone will help: clearing the p.i. antigens out of my body, getting rid of some of the sores because my body’s immune system can now get in front of the p.i. infection in my blood stream instead of trying to play catch up, and, in general, help me heal much more quickly than if I tried to “ride it out.”  The healing possibilities, at this point, was it was not going to be any time soon if I kept on the path I was trying to walk.

But, of course, with all medications, there are some side effects and prednisone has some of the toughest.  He cautioned me about the effects on my bones (I already have knee/joint problems), jitters, depression, hallucinations, and blindness.  He emphasized constant contact with him if my p.i. or side effects took a bad turn.

I’m not unfamiliar with some of these side effects, particularly depression.  I experienced postpartum depression after the birth of each of my children.  Which is why I wanted to write about depression in general.  (I certainly am thankful that, to this date, this isn’t a “Don’t Waste Your Blindness” post.)

Depression/overly blue/down-in-the-dumps down poses some unique challenges particularly when it isn’t caused by perceived poor choices such as bad financial decisions, over eating and indulging, or watching the cartoon network for nine hours straight.  It’s like an out-of-body experience, but you’re fully in-tune and aware and experiencing your body’s every up and down emotion.  It’s like being completely dazed and listless, yet overly paranoid and neurotic at the same time.  It’s being uncaring and unsympathetic toward anything, yet crying at every drop of spilled milk.  It is depressing.

So it would seem after this cheery description that I should be hopeless, hapless and confined to a world of hurt.  But I’m not.  Please read on.

In the midst of all of this, why am I so happy, peaceful, and downright blissful?  How can there be so much contentment in the direct pathway of so much neuroses?  Why is there a grateful ocean of overwhelming joy in my heart hedging so much listlessness?  Externally, nothing makes sense; yet internally, everything is graciously positioned brought about by the gift of belief in the gospel of saving grace through Jesus Christ our Lord, Who kindly works in the heart of His own.  The gospel positions everything to offensively cure all despondent feelings of hopelessness in a much greater way than Tony Romo rallying to lead the Cowboys in an overtime win this past Sunday.  Jesus Christ is the greatest of all past, present, and future heroes.

So the challenge to me was never to figure out how to pass the time.  The issues were never how do I “rally” to get through the next few days/weeks or maybe even months.  The recurring theme in the last week has been: what to do with the season of depression to bring glory to God within the small pool of opportunity that I have during this time.  “Don’t Waste Your Depression, Kim,” has been my recurring desire.

I hope this list helps anyone who might have experienced these symptoms in the past or is walking through a valley of turmultous trouble, and desires to find more about what the world can never offer in the midst of it: hope, help, and salvation from self.

1) Look upward; not inward.  The foundation of psychology is based on a premise of looking inward, yet it is all a ruse.  I believe it’s called “introspection.”  One of the biggest hoaxes of all time in human history.  Looking inward only brings a person to more despair, heartache and problems.  This is different from biblical self-examination, but more on that later.  Introspection leads to a host of other problems (read: sins), but mostly, just the naval-gazing focal point of me, me, me.  Look up, dear friend!  Look up to Jesus Christ, Who saves from such love of self and self-indulgence.  Look up to Jesus Christ:

Matthew 11:28-30, Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. ³⁰ For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

2) Pray: pray always, pray fervently, pray continually.  The attitude and habit of prayer can take a slightly different turn when your emotional and mental state are being pressed down.  The passion for self is heightened and the sympathy for others is lessened.  It’s not inherently bad.  The Psalmists surely spent a healthy amount of time on their own laments.  But as with all case studies of the human heart, Romans 3 would tell us that there is nothing good in us, so we can easily become ensnared in the prayer routine of why me–how do I get out of this–what’s my next move–help me not feel like this–I need relief and so on.  Suddenly, a thriving prayer list has been replaced by one top seed pick: me.

I’ve learned over the years that prayer is more about submission to God on behalf of yourself and others vs. getting answers to my specific needs/questions.  It isn’t that God doesn’t hear and answer those requests.  It’s that I can’t for the life of me see anywhere in Scripture that this is the reason for prayer.  Believe me, I’ve tried.  The verses on prayer, when taken in context, have more to do with utter dependency, thankfulness and rejoicing in a Lord and Savior than ever being about me and my endless list of questions.  The Spanish Inquisition never had it so good.

So pray often, for both yourself and others, but do it with the heart of gratitude and desire to “suffer well”; not presumtion upon God’s kindness, mercy and forbearance.

Samuel understood the importance of prayer even after/in the midst of great sin by the people demanding a human king.

I Samuel 12:23-24, “Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by ceasing to pray for you; but I will instruct you in the good and right way. “Only fear the LORD and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things He has done for you.

3) With Blessedness Come Unexplainable Thanks and Rejoicing.  I made mention of this before, but along this line, give thanks, repeatedly, and rejoice, repeatedly.  The blessedness that is fully and perfectly expounded upon by Jesus Christ in His sermon from Matthew 5 is never tied to emotions or a mental state.  It is inextricably fettered to Jesus Christ Himself.  The aforementioned Matthew 11 passage is clear.  But we can also gain much from The Beatitudes on Matthew 5 that transcends any feelings of a heavy heart and burden from a manmade drug.  It’s not so much that the heavy, depressed feeling in one’s own being is released.  It’s more that the knowledge of the saving, atoning grace of our gracious Lord cures any and all ill-effects.  The anchor tied to your foot in the deepest ocean is solidly buoyed by the impenetrable life-preserver strapped to your back.  I hope you can rifle through that analogy.  I’m obviously not water-savvy.

The point is: How can someone feel so listless and so grateful at the same time?  It is found in Matthew 5 and passages like them.  It is found in blessedness.  It is found in Jesus Christ.

Matthew 5:3-11, Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. “Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.  “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. “Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people ⁾insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

4) So Do It: Rejoice and Give Thanks.  As in the ”peace that passes all understanding” security and rest that comes from being blessed by a gracious, kind Savior, the ability to give thanks and rejoice should never be drowned out by the lack of desire to, if you are experiencing this deficit.  Obedience, out of love and worship for God, is all the needed reason to follow the commands in Scripture, whatever the inner turmoil.  The swirling in one’s head finds great tranquility when the export of energy is put toward rejoicing and thanking God.  Don’t “let go and let God.” No.  Fully engage and draw near to Him through rejoicing and thanksgiving.  He is near to those who place trust and belief in His completed work.

Philippians 4:4-7, Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. ⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

5) Be content.  In this society of self-ambition and pursuing “the American dream”, depression, or in my case, depression-lite, can leave you feeling all sorts of “out of it.”  Is the world passing me by?  Shouldn’t I be gaining more ground, more material goods, “redeeming the time?”  I give a resounding, “No!”  Be content in this season.  Be content with what the world would consider scraps, but the true believer considers a gracious re-charge from a protective, kindly, caring Heavenly Father more interested in rooting out sin and renewing the mind than ever gaining anything the soul can’t take with it into eternity.  Be content with God’s sovereign ruling in everything… everything in a believer’s life.  As the Apostle Paul would have it, Dare I say, rejoice?  And again I say rejoice that the work internally of conforming you to Christ far outweighs the “world passing you by.”

Romans 8:28-30, And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. ²⁹ For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; ³⁰ and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.

6) Don’t Waste Your Depression. What does this really mean?  I haven’t completely figured it out and maybe I never will.  Going through postpartum and now a drug-induced depression gives me a pattern to build upon, though each trial has had its unique challenges.  Circumstances are different, yet the godly, biblical principles of reality are clear-cut.  Don’t waste your depression, or any other trial on self, self-introspection, self-indulgence and self-pity.  This is not a “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” pep speech of self-righteousness that only results in deeper delusion.  This is the activity of resting fully and being completely contented in a deep trial–whether it’s for a long time or a little moment.

If you’ve noticed, I haven’t counseled about diet, sleep habits, support groups, etc.  I can’t.  I’m not an expert in any of those categories and the needs of each unique body is more than this small gray matter could ever address. But what I hope is that I’ve addressed the spiritual aspects of depression from the start of a healthy biblical perspective… something any true believer can authoritatively formulate out of Scripture’s text.

Dear friend, don’t waste your depression, however long or short the trial, on introspection.  Use the time to have Scripture judge your thoughts and intentions which some might call “self-examination.”  Care for the inner pain and suffering with the external healing balm of the gospel and soothing salve of the mere words “God saved me.”  Nothing in this world offered as a remedy can cool the prickling heartache and feelings of utter angst, like God’s Word.

Dear sister, don’t waste your depression on the why’s of it.  Redeem this time wisely by pursuing the Who of it, found only in God-breathed words.  Not found in psychology or well-meaning counsel, but drill deep into God’s Word regarding His comfort and kindly leading in repentance and His supernatural illumination of “hearing and seeing” what a confused mental and emotional state would normally not be able to comprehend.  You will not bottom out the text… ever.

Don’t waste the time counting the diminishing pill numbers relative to the days of when you might start feeling more like your old self.  Be glad and rejoice that after this, your “old self” is passed away and your “new self” is more mature, growing more, loving more, extending more grace and mercy and bearing more fruit because of a much-needed waiting period.  Counting pills is a hopeless and fruitless endeavor and can reveal where one’s trust is.  It ought to be in the gospel of the full counsel of God; not in a decreasing synthetic drug count.

And please, don’t do as I have done in the past.  Do not be ensnared, during this trial, by the sin of justifying irritability/irrationality when displaying it in a household in words and deeds and before God in thoughts and attitudes.  For me, the beneficial  side effect of this drug is it continually brings to the surface the unrepentant sin I have that is easily suppressed by a normal functioning (read: sin-suppressing) thought process.  By God’s grace, not being able to engage through the normal set of filtering processes has enabled me to see more clearly my own judgemental tendencies and lack of utter dependency on God.

And if nothing else from this post has stirred you, please, please don’t waste your time feeling sorry for me.  It is so undeserved and so unneeded.  I am better than fine.  I am happy, I am blessed, I am healed.  No, not yet from the sickness and trial of the internal struggles of prednisone side effects; nor from the external scars of poison ivy or completely relieved from the itching of it.  But, I am, most importantly and eternally, healed from self-pity, introspection and self-condemnation.  When Jesus says His stripes have healed me, I look not externally to some physical “take up your mat and walk” miracle, but the truest of all miracles, to be healed from self!

Instead, rejoice and give thanks with me!  For the same Man who was able to heal, physically, did the much harder, dare I say (humanly) impossible work of forgiving my sins.

Throughout the hardest trials of my life, in recent years, the Lord has refocused, reshifted, reimaged my heart to Look Up to Him and His saving grace and saturated me with His healing balm in a deeper, more meaningful understanding of the gospel of salvation.

So dear friend, please don’t waste your depression, sickness, trial–whatever the all-wise King has deemed for your life.  Use it to proclaim the truth of the gospel of God’s atoning work through Jesus Christ’s perfect birth, life, death and resurrection.  God saves the likes of me, a wretched sinner.  Oh what joy!  Oh what blessedness!  Oh what peace!

I’ll end with a quote from John Piper, who has rightly influenced many with his Don’t Waste Your Life campaigns.  Here is quote recently from a physical exercise series he posted on his blog.

“So, in short, I have one life to live for Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:15). I don’t want to waste it. My approach is not mainly to lengthen it, but to maximize purity and productivity now.” ~ John Piper

But, the greatest words on the Don’t Waste Your Life movement that should be a part of all of our lives come from God’s Word:

I Corinthians 10:31, Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

 

Feverently Love One Another

As of late, it appears the Lord is giving me an opportunity to worship Him with smidgens here and there via the internet.  Here is an article I submitted to the Shaper Iron website on the biblical theme of “loving one another.”

I hope it is encouraging to you.

Here is the link to the website, but the article is below, as well:

Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart, for you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and enduring word of God. (NASB, 1 Peter 1:22-23)

Please do not misunderstand my intention here. This is not meant to be an essay about warm, fuzzy love or the mushy sentiment the world advertises as true love. This is not about abandoning truth and all that is doctrinally sound. This is not going to be a post about compromising theological precision for the sake of a common unity that comes with superficial love and approval of sinful words and deeds. My intent is to turn our attention, as believers, to a broader understanding of what Peter tells suffering Christians scattered in various places.

Before I begin, my desire is to encourage believers to follow the many commands in Scripture which require us to “walk wisely” (Eph. 5:15, Matt. 10:16, Rom. 16:19). All of us should examine what we are being taught with a healthy, rigorous intellect when it comes to following the Bereans’ example (Mark 12:30, Acts 17:11). We, in the church, often become dazzled and mesmerized by ear-tickling sermons about love which has a tendency to puff us up and feed the inner nature of man, particularly if these sermons are centered on our perceived inherent worth and value apart from Jesus Christ.

A focus on love

I hope I have added the necessary discernment and wisdom disclaimers appropriately, because the remaining word count in this brief commentary focuses on God’s wonderful, amazing love and an exhortation to fulfill the greatest person-to-person command. Galatians 5:14 puts it this way: “For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’” Did we catch that—the whole Law is fulfilled!? That’s pretty serious. So how do we start to understand and fulfill this Royal Law command? (James 1:22, 2:8)

The absolute truth about God is that He is love. He is grace, mercy and forgiveness. He is eternally kind and compassionate, perfectly cohesive with His all-encompassing truthful essence and justice. These attributes are not in conflict with each other, but complement each other beautifully and flawlessly. He, in the person of Jesus Christ, is perfectly submissive and obedient. He is humble and meek and lowly.

So why is it, at times, the Church appears to diminish these characteristics and markers of true discipleship for the rally cry of truth? If the church in Ephesus was condemned for elevating doctrinal truth over leaving their first love (Eph. 1:15, Rev. 2:4-5), should we not all tremble at the mere thought of our local church lampstand being removed as well for the same snares? The fact is that truth and love live together in seamless cooperation when patterned according to I Peter 1:22-23.

For me, it starts with recognizing my deficiencies in the past. I have not always held to the Christian standard of these four simple, yet powerful words: “fervently love one another.” The word “fervently” in the original Greek is an adverb which means “earnestly” or “intensely.” As an adverb, it would have more to do with being stretched out, earnest, resolute, and tense or taut.

This fervent love is not something passive. This kind of fervency mentioned here has every idea of actively, daily, and constantly engaging the mind and heart to pursue love for one another. The phrase embodies full, unreserved, actionable love, grace, mercy and forgiveness, molded like the kind of agape love Christ has for us. The Bible is clear. He commands His children to act according to their pedigree.

This is not a call to check our wits at the door and become so innocent and naïve that we are dazzled by anything that is glittery. This is a call to the local church to come back to its “first love” and recapture a warm, affectionate love for one another as described in Ephesians 1:15.

Wise living is not only about discerning the false, but it is also acting in concert and harmony with what the Scriptures call for in Christian relationships. It is not the “straining out a gnat” hyper-criticism that Jesus condemns in Matthew 23. The standard for “loving one another” is wrapped in humility, mercy, patience, long-suffering grace and a host of other biblical principles. We are commanded to be “fervent,” and later, fervent love covers not just one sin but a multitude. A multitude carries the idea of “a great number” or “the whole number.” Just as the communicable attributes of God’s love and justice are being dispensed in perfect harmony, so our joyful slavery should display a Christ-like image when we love and submit to one another out of a holy fear for our Master.

Jesus gave a “new command” to love one another and it is, in fact, the ultimate mark of His true disciples (John 13:34-35) which is really an extension of an old commandment we had from the beginning. (1 John 2:7-11). Christ is the supreme example of this type of servanthood (Phil. 2:5-8).

Biblically speaking, there are a dozen or so different analogies that God uses to describe our life here on earth. Military terms might be the most well-known. It is no mistake that while we are soldiers marching and warring, it should not be against each other, but against sin: rebellion, unsubmissiveness, disobedience, pride, anger, arrogance; and militarily standing firm against outside and inside attacks of demonic agendas. If we keep this in mind, we could “put off” many of the sins that tempt us when trying to live amidst the troops. Within the “boastful pride of life” arena, we can find it far too easy to cross the line into devouring one another. (1 John 2:16, Gal. 5:15)

Dr. Rick Holland posted this as his status update a few weeks ago on Facebook: “Judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy (James 2:13). Praying to be a man without accusations against anyone.” I hope the triteness of the medium does not detract from the poignancy of the post. The essence of brotherly love is filtering through mercy and grace while using discernment as we advance and grow together.

So let us march on following King Jesus our Lord and Savior, denying ourselves, daily picking up our cross, and following Him (Luke 9:23). The only true way to obediently follow Christ and be conformed to His image is to trust Him with every aspect of our lives, including godly displays of sincere and fervent love for the brethren. 1 Peter 1:22-23 is clear: all those born of imperishable seed will have a truthful and purified, imperishable love for everyone who follows Jesus Christ.

I Am Crucified With Christ (original song)

I’ve added some new material under the Sample Songs page.  Feel free to check them out and let me know what you think!  If you would like to know when new songs are added, feel free to “subscribe” to the Channel.  And, of course, I will plan on posting them to Facebook as well.  Thanks!

A Song of Thankfulness to King Jesus

Hi Readers, I forgot to post this on my own blog.  Um–duh!?  I had submitted a poem I wrote a while back to a website that is not known for their poetry.  The website’s name is Sharper Iron.  In fact, their typical entries are more scholarly and academic in nature (you’ll be able to see that by the editor’s note above my entry explaining my submission.  It’s quite amusing, really.)  Much to my surprise, they have “printed” my poem.

Here is the link:  http://sharperiron.org/article/interlude-of-praise.

But it is posted below, as well.  Enjoy!

A Song of Thankfulness to King Jesus Based on Philippians 4:8

Jesus Christ, to Him, be praised!

A song of thankfulness, I raise,

For in the pages of Holy script,

I find a comprehensive list,

A portrait of our mighty King,

All praise and glory do I sing.

Truth, is what I’m thankful for,

This first word shows our Savior-Lord,

Will never falter, never fail

His words and deeds are faithful still,

Warmed by every promised word,

Election, by His grace, secured.

So my heart sings, to Him I bow,

My lips, I sing my honor, laud,

I give no other deference,

No higher praise, no preference,

Than to this royal, fairest King,

of noblest, highest, purest breed.

And so the list accelerates,

The next word shows His righteous state.

Conforming to His Father’s plan

Blameless and fully perfect man.

Yet, fully God, He sits guilt-free,

Completely innocent is He.

The purest, chaste and Sacred One,

A Light much brighter than the sun,

Immaculate and wholly clean,

The perfect standard men have seen,

Yet purity was what they hated,

The Holy One, they desecrated.

But what they did not understand,

Was in their criminal, heinous plan,

The Lamb of God, though shamed and vile,

He, the sinless, free from guile,

Bore our sins, a sacrifice,

His lovely life and death, sufficed.

And do I eagerly proclaim?

A hearty shout, a glad amen?

About the Christ of sound repute.

Loudly play the harp and flute!

With robust song and overflowed thanks,

Let me join the choir ranks.

And last, not least is excellence,

My song of praise and testament.

For He is worthy of my praise,

My heart and mind are fully swayed,

These verses, more and more I see,

Point to Jesus, Lord and King.

Motherhood Is Application

Here is a really great article specific to motherhood.  I hope you enjoy it.  As always, the original link is included, but the article is posted for your convenience.

(HT: Rachel Jankovic at Desiring God)

If I had to pick one word to describe motherhood, I think that word would be “transforming.”

The days of a busy mother are made up of millions of transformations. Dirty children become clean, the hungry child fed, the tired child sleeping. Almost every task a mother performs in the course of a normal day could be considered a transformation. Disorder to order, dirty clothes to clean, unhappy children to peaceful, empty fridge to full. Every day we fight against disorder, filth, starvation, and lawlessness, and some days we might almost succeed. And then, while we sleep, everything unravels and we start again in the morning — transforming.

Days of these little cycles add up and suddenly you see a big transformation. A nursing infant has become a boy on a bicycle, a baby bump has grown into a toddler, and children have been changed into brothers and sisters.

Then there is the kind of transformations that we do — not because we work at it, but because we were created to do it. You eat your lunch, and your body transforms it into nourishment for a baby. Taking something too big for an infant, and still finding a way to feed them with it — with the goal of growing them up to do it themselves.

Pregnancy and nursing are only a small part of a child’s life though — and this cycle is clearly not only a physical one. It is the spiritual cycle of food that is so much more important, and so much less talked about. Christian mothering is a constant cycle of nourishment — both physical and spiritual.

We Apply What We Believe

In the same way we take the food we eat and make it into something the baby can eat (and our bodies simply do this without us willing them to), so we take what we believe about God and the gospel and faith and life, and we apply it in the places that seem too little for it.

Imagine yourself in your kitchen trying to make dinner for a group of little kids who are tired and should have eaten a half hour ago. Imagine that things are going wrong beyond that — maybe you are out of something you assumed you had, children are fussing with one another, and maybe your littlest is still at the age where they come stand on your feet and pull on your pant leg. Bonus points if you are wearing maternity pants and this little person is actually capable of pulling your pants down. You are hot, you are tired, and you are sick of it.

This is no time for a gospel presentation. There isn’t time. There isn’t anyone to lead the discussion around the felt board, because you are still scrambling to figure out dinner. This isn’t a time for a gospel presentation because it is a time for gospel application. This is a time to take the grace that God has extended to you, and feed your children with it. Apply what you believe about God’s mercy and kindness and long suffering towards us, and pour it out to them — in a form they can believe in. Unrest like this is just like a baby crying for a bottle — only what they need is spiritual milk. They need you to feed them, not with a lecture, but with application.

You Have Everything You Need

Mothering is a job that is full of difficult moments. Diapers blow out in stores when you have too much in your cart to just walk out. Sudden carsickness can leave you pulled over on the side of the road wondering just how much can be done with half a bag of wet wipes. You need to take what you believe and apply it to these difficult moments. Does the Bible teach us that God is disgusted by our frailty? That he doesn’t want to carry our burdens? That he doesn’t have the energy to deal with us?

The good news is, you don’t need to have been through some elite mother’s training camp to apply the gospel in your life. You need to believe. Trust God, give thanks. Laugh. Believe — and that will feed your children. Rest in God, and your children will learn to. Extend God’s kindness to you, to them. Forgive them the way God forgave you. You have everything you need to spiritually nourish your children, because you have Christ.

The gospel is not just something to talk about Sunday morning while you are in clean clothes and the kids are looking orderly. It is not limited to quiet times and reflective moods. It is something to apply while you are in a difficult position in the back of the car trying to buckle a child up who is playing the kazoo and needs their nose wiped.

God is not above these moments. He is teaching us, and leading us, and refining us, in them. He wants to see our faith in action. He wants to see us feeding our children with the grace that he has given to us.

Mimic the Gospel

Of course, this side of heaven we will not do perfectly. Harsh words will be spoken, patience will wear thin. Frazzled mothers will act frazzled. And when this happens, our own sinfulness does not detract from the power of the gospel, it illustrates why we need it. Do not use your own mistakes as an excuse to wallow about what a bad mother you are. Repent, seek forgiveness, get it right, and move on. Believe. Be forgiven. Extend that forgiveness, that belief, that joy, to your children.

As you go about your daily transformations, set your heart on the truth. Mimic the gospel in what you do. Bring peace, bring order, bring joy, bring laughter. Bring it because it was brought to you. Give, because it was given to you. The gospel is not too big to fit into little situations. It is too big not to.